The Choice
by Michelle285
Summary: Kate is faced with a tough choice.  What will she do and what will be the consequences? Catious rating. AU...and Complete!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Does my pen name in any way resemble Andrew Marlowe? No? Well, then you can rightfully assume I don't own this. Deal? _

_ A/N: Okay, this idea just popped into my head one night and I just had to write it down. This is going to be a multi chapter WIP. I don't usually like to post if I don't have it all written…but I feel like I know where this is going and can hopefully get it there…even though college is starting soon. Sorry if any characters are OOC. I'm still pretty new at this. Chapter one…enjoy! _

Kate rolled her eyes walking toward the door. Someone had just knocked on it and she was sure it was Castle. He was being ridiculous at the precinct earlier so she sent him home. He had tried to call her when she was in the middle of interrogating a suspect and left her a voicemail that said he was sorry. When she had tried to call him back, he hadn't answered, so she left him a voicemail saying she accepted and giving him the progress of the case. But she knew Castle and she figured saying he was sorry on a voicemail wasn't going to cut it for him.

"Castle I told you—" Kate cut off when she opened the door. "Josh! Hi! I…uh…I thought you had to work tonight."

"I did," Josh confirmed. "My friend, though, had to work tomorrow night and his anniversary is tomorrow and was in kind of a bind. I told him I would work for him tomorrow night if he would work for me tonight."

"Well, that's awfully nice of you," Kate said. "Come on in!"

"Maybe I shouldn't," Josh said. "It sounded like you were expecting someone else. Castle, maybe?"

"No!" Kate denied. That was true. At least, she wasn't expecting him in the way Josh was thinking. "I wasn't expecting him to show up. I just figured it was him. He was being ridiculous at the precinct today and I sent him home. He doesn't like to think I'm mad at him, so he usually calls and apologizes, but I didn't speak to him today, so I just figured that was him, since I thought you were working and all." Yes, she knew she was being a little wordy tonight, but it was very embarrassing to find your boyfriend at the door when you had called another man's name.

Josh looked down at his watch. "You know, it's almost midnight. It seems a little strange that you would just figure Castle would show up here at such a late hour."

"Castle doesn't really have great time perception," Kate told Josh. "In fact, earlier today, Esposito was telling us a great story and Castle completely interrupted him with something that had nothing to do with what Esposito was saying. We all just looked at him and Castle just said, 'It just popped into my head right about now.' If something pops into his head, you can be sure he'll do it or say it."

Josh rolled his eyes. He was used to these anecdotes about Castle. It seemed every time she saw him she had a new one. "I still don't think it's right for anyone to show up at a girl's apartment at midnight, unless that person is her boyfriend!"

"Well, no one did," Kate reasoned. "So it doesn't really matter, right?"

Josh sighed. He might as well go along with her. "Right."

"Let me just go change into my pajamas, and we can watch a movie or something," Kate suggested. "Do you want to look through my collection."

"The collection of two?" Josh teased.

"Now, now," Kate teased right back. "I have more than two! Why, the last time I checked, there were three at the least!"

Josh laughed as her phone began to ring. Kate walked over to it and her eyes widened. It was Castle. If she didn't answer it, he was just going to keep calling. She was sure of that.

Josh turned to her. "Aren't you going to get that?"

"Huh," Kate asked, momentarily distracted.

"The phone," Josh repeated. "Aren't you going to answer it?"

"Oh!" Kate exclaimed. "Of course." She walked into the kitchen and Josh became a little suspicious. He followed her, not to eavesdrop…more to listen. He assured himself it was not the same thing, listening wasn't sneaky at all. He was a little thirsty and he could say he was just coming to get a drink.

"Hey, Castle," Kate answered the phone.

Right away, a frown appeared on Josh's face. He didn't like how casually she answered the phone. Castle worked with her, shouldn't she be a little more formal? Every time Ryan or Esposito called, she always answered the phone with a formal "Beckett." Why should this time be any different?

The frown stayed on Josh's face throughout her whole conversation. He didn't like the way she was smiling and teasing this Castle so much. She seemed entirely too comfortable with a man that was not her boyfriend. Josh didn't like it, and when she came back, he was going to do something about it.

-%

"Hey, Castle," Kate said, answering the phone.

"Hey," Castle said back. "I just—"

"Thanks so much for asking what I was doing," Kate teased. "Josh and I are getting ready to watch a movie, but I think I have a few minutes. Did you need something?"

Castle swallowed, he hating thinking about her and Josh together, especially so late. He had to smile though, at the teasing tone in her voice. "Are you busy?"

Kate rolled her eyes, although a smile appeared on her face. "I believe I already answered that."

"So you did," Castle agreed. "I just wanted to make sure we were okay, you know, after today."

"I told you we were," Kate reminded him.

"It was a voicemail," Castle said. "It's not the same. I just wanted to let you know that I really am sorry. I was going to come over, but I figured you might be busy, and with motorcycle boy there…"

"Castle!" Kate warned.

"Doctor McDreamy?" Castle asked.

"Why do I even bother?" Kate muttered, not bothering to hide her smile, since Castle couldn't see her anyway.

"I know you're smiling," Castle said. "I can hear it in your voice."

Well, darn him. "I'm going to plead the fifth on this one!" Kate joked. Before she could end this conversation, she really was keeping Josh waiting too long, he was bound to come looking for her any moment, Castle spoke up again. "Isn't that my line?"

"Castle, I really do have to go," Kate told him, ignoring the last question. "Josh is bound to come looking for me soon."

"Josh?" Castle questioned, pretending like he had no idea who she was talking about.

"I'm hanging up now," Kate told him.

"Wait!" Castle cried. "Just so we're clear, you're not mad at me? You know how sorry I am for annoying you today, and I'll see you tomorrow, same time, same place?"

Kate smile grew just a little bigger. She really didn't know what she would do without him sometimes…not that she would ever tell him, or anyone, that. "Castle, I am not mad at you. I never was. You were just being especially annoying and I figured we would both get more accomplished if you went home and worked on your book. I know you're sorry. I will see you tomorrow, same time, same place…as long as you come bearing coffee and sustenance."

"Don't I always?" Castle asked.

"Yes," Kate agreed. "You do."

"Bye, Beckett," Castle said before hanging up.

"Bye, Castle," Kate said.

-%

Josh figured now would be a perfect time to walk into the kitchen. Right as she was saying goodbye. That way, she would know he knew who she was talking to. He wanted to see if she would offer an explanation.

"Ready to watch the movie?" Kate asked. If he wasn't going to ask about Castle she wasn't going to tell. She knew he knew Castle was on the phone, but if he wasn't going to say anything, there was no need to volunteer information. Things were going good with her and Josh, and she wanted to keep it that way.

Josh had gotten his drink and they began to walk toward the living room. It seemed she wasn't going to say anything, so Josh took matters into his own hands. "Castle called?"

Kate sighed. There was no way to get out of this one. "Yes, he did."

"Did he want something in particular?" Josh questioned.

"He just wanted to tell me, again, that he was sorry," Kate told Josh.

"You talked to him for an awful long time if that's all he wanted to tell you," Josh pointed out.

"He can't take a hint," Kate hedged.

"It's 12:15," Josh began, sitting his drink down on the coffee table. "A man, who is not your boyfriend, called you. Your boyfriend was here, yet you left the room, to go take a call from another man. I've never met this man, yet I probably know him as well as you do! He's always encroaching in on our time together, whether it's because he calls or because you go to a case. I ask you how your day was, and you give me a standard answer and then launch into a story about what Castle did that day!"

Kate's eyes widened. She never realized she told stories about Castle. Oh well, she would apologize to Josh and quickly change the subject. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize I told stories about him. I'll watch it, I promise. And, it's not really him cutting in on our time, it's work, where he just happens to be. Are you ready to watch that movie?"

Josh sighed. He had been quiet too long. "I'm tired of it, Kate. I'm tired of him. Can't you partner him with someone else?"

Okay, change of subject: fail. Kate shook her head. "He isn't my partner, he's my shadow. His book series is about me, therefore he has to follow me. Now, about that movie…"

"Can't you fire him?" Josh asked.

"Fire him!" Kate cried. Kate suddenly realized how panicked she sounded. She schooled her voice to sound normal again. "He doesn't get paid, so he can't be fired. Besides, the mayor and the captain, not to mention the boys, want him there. He's helpful, sometimes."

"I don't like it," Josh told Kate.

Kate shrugged. "I'm sorry, I really am." Kate was being serious. She was sorry Josh didn't like it…but she wasn't exactly jumping on the opportunity to make Castle leave. She liked him there too. "Weren't we going to watch a movie?"

"Would you rather have him or me?" Josh inquired.

Kate's mouth dropped open. She had planned to direct him back to the movie, but now, every thought flew out of her head, except for his last question. "W-What?"

"Would you rather have him or me?" Josh repeated.

"I…" Kate stopped. She loved Josh, didn't she? He was her boyfriend, of course she did. But Castle…he brought her food, he brought her coffee, he made sure she went home, he made her life fun.

"You have two days," Josh told her, breaking into her thoughts. He grabbed his coat, getting ready to leave her apartment.

"Two days, for what?" Kate asked.

"Two days to decide," Josh clarified. "You can keep Castle as your 'shadow' and break up with me, or you can keep me and get rid of Castle."

After that, Josh walked out the door and slammed it behind him.

Kate closed her eyes and sank down on the couch. She couldn't help but whisper, "Break up with Josh or…get rid…get rid of Castle."

_Uh-oh. What is Kate going to do? This may be slightly OOC for Josh, but we don't really know him, and I like to think of him as a jealous maniac! :) Besides, anyone might get jealous of the time Kate and Castle spend together. It may be a few days before the next chapter, but I'll try to get another one up before Monday's episode…after that, this story may become AU. That is, of course, if you want me to continue this. Do you? How about you review and tell me! Click the button…please? _


	2. Chapter 2

_ Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own Castle…only my DVD's…that I didn't even pay for…so maybe I shouldn't stake a claim on those either. _

_ A/N: A lot of you said Kate was OOC at the end of the last chapter, and that she should've kicked Josh to the curb. While, yes, she might have been and yes, she should've…she does love Josh (in this story at least) and she loves Castle, which is why this decision is so hard for her. Anyway, here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy. _

The next morning, Kate was in a horrible mood. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before because her mind wouldn't be quiet. It was replaying what Josh had said over and over and she was trying to make a decision.

Kate was a little miffed that Josh had given her an ultimatum, and that almost made her want to break up with him just to show him that he couldn't control her or her life. On the other hand though, she really did like him. She might even love him and if he was the right man for her, she didn't want to sabotage that. Things were going good and if she tried, she could almost see herself married to him. He was fun to be around, he understood her working schedule and he didn't act like a nine year old on a sugar rush.

Castle never listened to her and was always irritating her while she was trying to do her job. He was always spinning crazy stories that (almost) never helped her in any way. He was always creepily staring at her while she was trying to do paperwork and making sexual innuendos at the worst possible times. She still wasn't sure if he could manage to be in a committed relationship, since he just broke up with Gina. On the other hand, she wasn't aware of the circumstances which surrounded his break up, and they could've been completely normal. He said she needed some fun in her life and he certainly tried to make sure she did. She didn't hate it as much as she acted like she did and she knew the chair beside her desk would seem terribly empty if he wasn't there to fill it every day. He was also the one who brought her coffee and food, because he somehow knew that she wouldn't have time for breakfast in the morning. If she stayed late at the precinct he would stay with her and try to help her with the case and she knew he enjoyed working on the cases with him. One thing kept nagging her about keeping Castle though. He wasn't her boyfriend.

This decision between Josh and Castle was supposed to be easy. One was her boyfriend and one was her "shadow." Kate should be able to pick her boyfriend over her shadow any day. If it was supposed to be easy, why couldn't she decide? She needed to make this decision very soon though, because if she didn't, her two days would be up and it would be made for her. That thought panicked her. She obviously needed some help with this.

Kate decided Lanie might be able to help her with the predicament she had managed to get herself into. She walked over to the elevator and waited for it to come up.

As soon as the elevator did, Castle stepped out of it. He handed her the coffee that he always brought. "Hey, where are you going?"

"Down to the morgue," Kate replied.

"Oh, I'll go with you," Castle offered, turning back around to get on the elevator.

"No!" Kate cried. Kate cringed at how loud she had said that. She brought her voice back down to a normal level. "I mean, Lanie doesn't have anything for us. She just told me to come down and see her. I guess she wants to engage in some girl talk or something."

"What am I supposed to do up here all by myself?" Castle questioned.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Are you four? I'm sure the boys can entertain you for a little while. _Don't_ touch my chair."

"Aw, take away all my fun," Castle whined.

Kate's eyes rolled again.

"Oh!" Castle suddenly remembered. "Poker. My house. Tonight."

Kate bit her lip. If her visit to Lanie made her decide to fire Castle, he wouldn't want her over at his house tonight. She was pretty sure she wouldn't want to go either. "I don't think I can come tonight, Castle. But that's okay. I would just whip your butt anyway."

"You think you're so good," Castle said. "Is it because of Josh? He is welcome to come too."

"Just play tonight, Castle," Kate insisted. "I'll come next week, and you'll get beaten again, just like always."

"You wish," Castle said. "I would so beat you."

"Dream on," Kate taunted as she stepped into the elevator.

As the doors of the elevator were sliding closed, Kate heard Castle say to the boys, "Poker game tonight at my house."

Ryan and Esposito cheered and Kate closed her eyes. If she did decide to fire Castle, she hoped he wouldn't be too angry with her or Ryan and Esposito. If he was, the boys would never forgive her.

Kate sighed. She didn't know what to do.

-%

When Kate stepped into the morgue, she shivered. It was always cold down here and she always knew it would be. She still, though, was never really prepared for how cold it actually was.

"Hey, girl," Lanie greeted her best friend. "What are you doing here?"

"I need some advice," Kate told Lanie.

"Give me two seconds to finish up with Mr. Barron here and then I'll be all yours," Lanie said, sewing up the incision.

True to her word, about two seconds later, Lanie turned around, snapped off her gloves and looked at Kate. "What seems to be the trouble?"

Kate told Lanie what had happened the night before. Everything from thinking Castle was at the door, to Castle's phone call, to Josh's anger. "He gave me an ultimatum. He said that I had two days to decide whether I wanted to be with him or get rid of Castle."

Lanie wrinkled her forehead. "He gave you an ultimatum…and you're still with him?"

All Kate could do was nod.

"Why?" Lanie asked, incredulous.

Kate shrugged. "It could be meant to be, Lanie. If he's the guy I'm going to marry someday, I'm not going to sabotage our relationship for my shadow."

Lanie was shaking her head. "I thought you didn't believe in fate. And, honey, Writer Boy is so much more than your shadow and you know it."

Kate rolled her eyes. "Lanie, I came to you for help. Would you _please_ help me?"

"You want an unbiased opinion from me?" Lanie questioned. "You do know who you're talking to, right?"

Kate sighed. "You'll tell me to keep Castle, won't you?"

"Yes," Lanie said. "Or, you could always sleep with him and get it out of your system."

"Lanie, I can't do that!" Kate cried. "That wouldn't be fair to him or me. Besides, I'm not a one night stand kind of girl. I'm a one and done."

"And Josh is your one and done?" Lanie reasoned.

Kate thought about this for a minute. She wrinkled her forehead. Thinking about this question was obviously not good. Maybe she should just break up with Josh and keep Castle.

Lanie finally just sighed. "You're going to do what you're going to do and nothing I'm going to say will stop you. I know you're thinking about getting rid of Writer Boy and I know you came down here with the hope that I'd tell you I think that's your best choice. Well, I don't. I think you need to keep Writer Boy and kick Josh to the curb. I know you want a boyfriend, because you want the reassurance that someone loves you and someone always will. What you don't realize is that Writer Boy loves you too. And if you fire him, you might very well break his heart. Ryan and Esposito won't be too thrilled with you either."

Kate narrowed her eyes at Lanie. "Thanks so much for all your help."

"I'm sorry, girl," Lanie said, hearing the sarcasm in Kate's voice. "I'm just telling you what I honestly think, not what you want to hear."

Kate sighed and walked out of the morgue, leaving Lanie by herself.

Back in the morgue, Lanie turned to Mr. Barron and shook her head. "One of these days, she'll see it. I just hope when she does, it won't be too late."

_This could be considered a filler, but I wanted to give you some of Kate's thoughts and give you some insight of how torn she is between the two. I also think Lanie's reaction to this is very important, because Kate has denied Lanie's claims of there being something between her and Castle countless times. I also think that if Lanie continues to say there's something there, Kate might want to get rid of Castle even more to prove Lanie wrong/to make sure there isn't anything between them. On the other hand, she might want to keep him and explore what could be there. Anyway, sorry this A/N was so long and so rambling. I think the next chapter will have Kate making her decision, so if you haven't figured out what she will do already, stay tuned. I'm not sure when it will be up, hopefully it won't take a long time. The button is feeling very neglected. :) How about giving it some love by reviewing? _


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own this…nor do I own the idea to change the direction of the story. _

_ A/N: Okay, you might need to go back and read the second chapter. I changed one of Castle's lines when he was talking about the poker game. I also changed some of the dialogue between Kate and Lanie in the morgue. I basically just took some of it out and added a thought of Kate's here and there. The story is officially going a whole different way than I planned it and you might need to read the Lanie/Kate scene again to get where it could be going now. Hopefully Kate doesn't sound like a teenager anymore. :) Okay, now the next chapter, I hope you enjoy! _

Kate was pacing the hallway of the morgue. She was still debating between Castle and Josh, but something had changed. This morning she was leaning more toward Josh, but now she had shifted and was leaning more towards Castle. She wasn't sure if it was her conversation with Lanie, the fact that Castle was a bit more fun than Josh or if it was that Josh had given her an ultimatum.

Suddenly, some of Lanie's words came floating back to Kate. _"He gave you an ultimatum. . .and you're still with him? Why?"_

Kate wrinkled her forehead. That was a very good question. Why? Why was she still with him? Sure, she told Lanie it was because it might be meant to be and all that fate crap, but even Lanie knew she was just making up excuses. Kate did want to be with Josh! Well, maybe it was more of what Lanie had said. She wanted someone to love her. Again, though, if what Lanie said was true, she might already have that.

Kate thought back to this morning, when she saw Castle step off the elevator. He had brought her coffee. He was going to go with her to the morgue (even thought that just might have been because he thought Lanie had something for them) and he had invited her to poker.

Kate suddenly stopped her pacing and gasped. Castle had told her to invite Josh. He had said Josh was more than welcome to come to the poker game. The poker game that was exclusive to the precinct. It was always her, Lanie, Ryan, Esposito and the captain. Sometimes Martha and Alexis were around, but that was beside the point. Castle never invited Jenny and Lanie had been coming long before she had started dating Esposito. Castle had told her she should bring Josh too, because Castle wanted Kate to come.

Kate smiled. Josh would never do that because of his hatred for Castle. Kate knew Castle wasn't too fond of Josh either. She wouldn't go as far to say Castle hated Josh, but he definitely didn't like him. Castle, though, had put all that aside and was willing to spend one evening with Josh so Castle could also spend an evening with her.

Kate shook her head and knew there wasn't even a decision to make anymore. It was Castle, all the way. As she rode back up to the precinct, she bit her lip. She couldn't help but wonder if maybe it always had been Castle, it had just taken one of Castle's few mature qualities to make her see it.

-%

Kate was alone in the precinct. She wasn't planning on going to the poker game that night. She was going to wait until about eleven thirty and stop by the hospital to see Josh. He frequently told her that he had a break between eleven and twelve. He took that time to relax or to do paperwork. She understood how important relaxing or paperwork could be, since she needed to both herself, which was why she was going halfway through the break. She knew he wouldn't be happy with her decision and she wanted to give him time to at least get a little bit of paperwork or relaxing in before she dropped her bombshell. She also wasn't going to go at the very end of his break, because he might have already left to prep for surgery. He liked to be early and she understood this also, because she always liked to be early for things too.

Kate just had to smile as she was thinking all of this. She remembered when Castle had met Will and said he was exactly like her, and it would never work out. She thought that maybe her and Josh were exactly like that. They were Ying-Ying, the name for a panda. She shook her head. Castle really had gotten inside her head. He may not have peeled all the layers off the Beckett onion, but he had gotten pretty far, especially if she was thinking of some of the things he had done over a year ago. She wished she had thought of all these things earlier, so she wouldn't have had to string Josh along as long as she had.

Kate checked her watch and saw that it was eleven fifteen. It took about fifteen minutes to get to the hospital where Josh worked from the precinct, so she got up and put her coat on. She almost felt bad about what she was going to do, but then she remembered it was Josh's fault that she was breaking up with him at all. She was surprised that she didn't feel nervous or sad or…anything at all. That was just more proof to her that this was the right thing to do. She took a deep breath and stepped on the elevator.

-%

She walked into the hospital and rode the elevator up to the cardiac ward. She asked the receptionist if she knew if Josh was in his office.

"Josh isn't working tonight, Ma'am," the receptionist informed her.

"He isn't?" Kate asked.

The receptionist shook her head. "No, Ma'am. I'm sorry. Is there something you needed?"

"No, thank you," Kate told the receptionist. "Thank you."

"Sorry I couldn't be more helpful," the receptionist apologized again.

"It's fine," Kate assured her.

As Kate was walking out of the hospital, her forehead wrinkled. She was _positive_ Josh had told her he was working tonight. She hoped everything was okay. She decided she should go over to his apartment just to make sure. At the same time though, she hoped nothing was wrong, because if something was, there was no way she would be able to add to his pain by breaking up with him too.

-%

She pulled up to the building where Josh lived and quickly scanned the parking lot. She saw his motorcycle there sitting in its usual spot, so she was sure he was here. She again wondered why he wasn't working.

As she walked up to his apartment, she tried to think of all the different reasons as to why he wouldn't be at the hospital tonight. Nothing, though, made any sense to her.

She got to his door and knocked. She waited a few seconds, before she heard sounds coming from the other side.

"Kate!" Josh exclaimed in surprise when he pulled the door open. He was wearing a towel around his waist and his hair was wet. "I just got out of the shower."

"I thought you had to work tonight?" Kate asked.

"Um, I did but—" Josh was cut off.

A woman came out of the bedroom, with a towel wrapped around her as well. The woman directed a question at Josh. "Who is it, honey?"

_Oh no! Kate isn't going to like this very much. She could very well chew Josh out in the next chapter. Won't that be fun to watch…er…read? I hope you all are pleased with the way this is going, I think there are only going to be two more chapters left, but since, as I said at the beginning, this was not the way I planned to take the story, there may be a longer waiting period before the update. Anyway, I hope you are pleased with the way this chapter turned out. I hope you will review and tell me. _


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: I do not own. But hopefully you know that by now._

_ A/N: Sorry for the wait my friends. School finally caught up with me. I was doing a pretty good job of staying ahead but…oh well. I have struggled with this chapter for quite a long time…I had so much trouble with some of the dialogue…well, all of the dialogue really. I don't think I am very good at an angry Kate, which is why the beginning turned out the way it did. Enjoy! _

**Previously on **_**The Choice:**__ "Kate!" Josh exclaimed in surprise when he pulled the door open. He was wearing a towel around his waist and his hair was wet. "I just got out of the shower." _

_ "I thought you had to work tonight?" Kate asked. _

_ "Um, I did but—" Josh was cut off. _

_ A woman came out of the bedroom, with a towel wrapped around her as well. The woman directed a question at Josh. "Who is it, honey?" _

Kate just stared at the suspicious woman for a moment. She wasn't naïve and therefore, she knew what this woman meant. She knew Josh had been cheating on her for who knows how long and she was seething. Kate promised herself that she wouldn't lose her cool though. Not here and definitely not in front of him. She wasn't going to yell at him out in his hallway and make a scene. She wasn't going to let him know that he got to her.

Kate, with a calm demeanor (perfected from years of dealing with criminals), tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and gave Josh a menacing glare. "Do you think I could see you for a minute," Kate asked, shooting another glance at the girl. "Outside?"

Josh looked down at his state of dress. "Give me a minute to put something on."

Kate narrowed her eyes. She didn't want to stay here any longer than she had to, but she also had no desire to talk to him in his hallway while he was in a towel. "Hurry up!" Kate snapped.

Josh scurried into the bedroom to change into something presentable and Kate stared at the mysterious woman, who was staring back at her. They were sizing each other up and weren't exactly being discreet about it. The woman took a moment and looked at Kate. "It's too bad, really. You would've been terrific competition."

Kate could feel her anger level rising, but she was determined to hold it in just a little longer. "You could do something about the way your dressed too, you know."

"Yeah, I guess I'll go into the bedroom and get out of this," the woman agreed. "I won't be needing it when he comes back in anyway."

Kate had to squeeze her lips together to keep her mouth from falling open. This girl was probably one of the classic mean girls when she was in high school. She definitely looked the part. Kate had to give her some credit though. She was good. Kate had to wonder how she could be so nonchalant about the whole thing. A man was cheating on her and she didn't seem to care. Kate would be…Kate _was _furious. She just rolled her eyes and went back to staring at the girl. If Kate's glare might have morphed into one that she gave her guilty suspects, it was surely an accident on her part.

Josh came rushing back out in some jeans and a t-shirt. Kate stepped out into the hall and asked, "Who is she?"

Josh sighed. He knew there was no way to get out of answering, he knew what was going to come of this and knew he had to answer. "Her name's Tanya. She works at the hospital as a secretary and filing girl to all the cardiac doctors."

"Well, that explains why she looks so young," Kate mused. The girl really did look about twenty. "How long has this been going on?"

Josh squirmed. "Around two months."

"Two months!" Kate exclaimed. "And you never once thought that maybe we should talk about why you felt the need to cheat on me? You never once thought that there might be a problem with our relationship? You had the nerve to give me an ultimatum the other night!"

"You were always working," Josh began.

"So were you! So what, you wanted to find a young girl that you could have a quickie with in the hospital before a surgery?" Kate mocked.

"Oh, come on Kate," Josh said. "It's not like you weren't doing it too. I'm sure you were getting plenty from that Castle guy."

Kate's eyes narrowed. Her voice got low and dangerous. This was what Castle would call Angry (and Scary) Beckett. "Don't you ever say that again."

Josh shook his head. Apparently he just didn't know where to stop. "You were always working, with him. You were always getting calls, from him. Everywhere you went for work, it was with him. You can't spend that much time with someone and not have sex with them."

Kate smirked. "Maybe you can't, but most normal people can. Castle has never tried anything with me!" That was not a lie. Sure, Castle made innuendos all the time, but Kate knew he would never do anything unless she insinuated it or it was for the sake of a case. Even if she did insinuate something, she could almost see him asking about Josh and making sure Josh was a non-issue before it went any farther than what was deemed acceptable.

Josh was shaking his head. "I don't believe you."

Kate took a deep breath and tried to control her anger yet again. "Well, then, it's a good thing I'm breaking up with you. I actually can't believe I ever dated you! You and the ditzy blonde really are perfect for each other." Kate knew it was a low blow, but she was very angry! She turned around and walked toward the elevator.

"I guess you are going to go get your writer to comfort you now," Josh taunted her.

Kate spun around on her heel, walked toward Josh and slapped him across the face, hard. She was so angry she was shaking. There were so many things she wanted to say, so many things she could say, but yet she wasn't going to say any of them. She knew that her voice would waver because of the anger she was holding in. She was also a little concerned that Josh might think her voice was wavering and she was shaking because she was sad. Besides, she wasn't going to show any weakness in front of him.

Kate gave Josh one of her most menacing looks. "Have a nice life, Motorcycle Boy."

As she began walking toward the elevator, Josh called out, "Hey!"

Kate stepped into the elevator and knew Josh was offended by the name. She pushed the button to get the doors to close and said, "Excuse me, Doctor Motorcycle Boy." With that, the doors closed and Josh was effectively shut out of Kate's life forever.

-%

The guys and Lanie were in the midst of a very intense poker game when Lanie's phone vibrated loudly.

"Geez, Lanie!" Ryan exclaimed.

Lanie rolled her eyes. "Shut up, Ryan." She wasn't going to answer it but when she saw Kate's name flash across the screen she knew she had to. "Hello."

"Hey, Lanie," Kate said. "You beating them all in poker for me?"

Lanie smiled but knew something was wrong. Kate was trying to keep up her usual humor, but her voice wasn't normal. "Something like that. Is everything okay?"

Instead of answering Lanie's question, Kate asked one of her own. "Are you guys almost finished?"

"We can be. Well, I can be," Lanie corrected herself. "Do you need me?"

"And some good wine?" Kate asked quietly.

"What did the idiot do?" Lanie asked, knowing Josh would be the only reason Kate would be acting like this.

When Kate didn't answer, Lanie sighed. "Never mind. I'll find out when I get there. I'll be there soon. Bye."

As soon as she hung up and began to get out of her chair, Esposito stopped her. "Where are you going?"

"I have to leave," Lanie told him.

"You haven't finished this round," Castle pointed out.

Lanie narrowed her eyes at him.

"But I drove you here," Esposito reminded her.

"I'll catch a taxi," Lanie said, snatching her coat from the back of her seat. "It's New York City."

"You can't take one all the way home," the captain couldn't help but point out.

"Good thing I'm not going home," Lanie countered.

"Lanie, what's wrong?" Esposito finally asked. "Who called?"

"Does it matter?" Lanie shot back.

Esposito's eyes bore into hers. "Yes. I need to know if I should be worried. Who called?"

Lanie softened for a minute. She couldn't help but think that Javier shouldn't be able to get to her like this, but he did, every time. "Everything's fine…with me. Don't worry."

"Who called?" Esposito repeated.

"It was Kate. Now, I have to go. I fold," Lanie said, slapping her cards down on the table.

"This must have been really serious," Esposito said after hearing the front door of Castle's loft slam shut.

"Why do you say that, dear?" Martha asked, coming into the living room. She had been in the kitchen pouring herself a drink and heard the exchange.

"Look at her cards," Esposito said, holding up her hand so everyone could see it. They all gasped when their eyes ran over her cards. Lanie was two cards away from a royal flush.

_Again, I apologize for how long it took me to get this chapter up. As my grandmother says, "Give me ten lashes with a wet noodle!" I know I don't deserve it after making you wait for so long, but do you think you could drop me a review? Tell me if Kate seemed OOC, because I'm worried about how I portrayed her. You could also tell me if you liked it…and let me know you're still with me! Please review…and I'll definitely try to get the next chapter up faster_


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: I still don't own. And as it's looking right now, I won't. _

_ A/N: Okay, the next chapter. I'm really not sure how I feel about this one, but I guess you can judge for yourself and I hope you find it satisfactory. Also, I'm super sorry this took so long; I thought I had already posted this! Sorry! Enjoy! _

Lanie didn't bother with knocking when she got to Kate's apartment. She dug around in her purse for a few minutes and found the key Kate had given her a while ago. She stuck it in the door and walked in.

"Kate," Lanie called.

"In here," Kate called back from her living room.

Lanie peeked into the living room. She saw Kate sitting on the couch, still in her work clothes. Lanie walked in and set everything in her hands down. She threw her purse in a nearby chair, kicked her heels off and set the wine on the table. She then hurried into the kitchen to get two glasses.

Arriving in the living room again, she saw Kate had already opened the wine. "Don't start without me, girl!" Lanie joked.

Kate cracked a small smile. "I can't start without the glasses anyway."

Lanie gently took the bottle away from Kate and poured a generous amount in both the cups. Before Lanie could even begin to drink a sip of hers, Kate had downed almost half the glass.

Lanie's eyes got wide as she watched Kate. "Okay, I have to know. What happened?"

Kate looked at Lanie and took another gulp of her wine before setting the glass on the table and beginning to talk. "I went to the hospital tonight to see Josh and to tell him we were going to have to break up if he was going to stick to his ultimatum. He wasn't there and then I went to his apartment. When I got there, I knocked on the door and he answered. He answered in a towel and he had just gotten out of the shower. I was beginning to ask why he wasn't working and then I saw a blonde girl walking out of the bedroom…also in a towel."

"No!" Lanie cried. "How long?"

"Two months," Kate whispered.

"No!" Lanie repeated, still astonished. "I'll kill him! I really will! The boys will help me, no doubt. Let's see, where can I hide the body?"

Kate put a calming hand on Lanie's arm. "Lanie, stop."

"Why?" Lanie asked. "Don't you want him dead?"

Kate shook her head. "I want him to suffer. Eventually the little blonde will leave him or cheat on him—I can't imagine her being faithful—and he will be miserable. When that happens, I'll have already gotten over him, will have moved on with my life and I will be happy."

"Did you give it to him good?" Lanie had to ask. She knew Kate and knew that when she got fired up her anger was not a force to be reckoned with. It was something to sit back, stay away from and hope to not get caught in the cross fire.

"I slapped him," Kate answered sheepishly. "Of course, that was only after he flat out said I was getting some from Castle."

"And you absolutely _sure_ you don't want me to kill him?" Lanie inquired of Kate. "And you only slapped him! Girl, I have seen you get angry…and you don't slap! You punch, hit and yell! What happened?"

Kate sighed. "No, don't kill him. And honestly, I'm not really sure what happened. We were in the hallway of his apartment, and apart from his relationship qualities, he really is a good guy. He saves lives and I'm sure lots of people in his building love him. I don't want to disillusion them when they aren't trying to start a relationship with him. I really only think he sucks in the relationship department, and after being so good at everything else, he has to suck at something. It's just too bad I got the short end of the stick. I didn't need the kind of cardiac help at which he is actually good.

"I guess another reason is that while I was standing there listening to him try and justify his cheating I realized he didn't really know me at all. I knew that if I were to get mad and yell, hit and punch, not only would I make a scene, he would know that he had gotten to me. I couldn't let him see that! After all, I don't usually let anyone see me when things have gotten to me. You and Castle are the select two. You because I know you won't judge me and Castle only because he doesn't listen…ever! I didn't want Josh to see me angry, to see me lose my cool. I refuse to lose my control for anything, especially for someone who doesn't know me. It makes me look like I can't handle myself, makes me look weak, and that is something I am not…something I will never let myself be!

"The huge problem with being with Josh though was the way I was acting. I was changing myself so much for him and everyone seemed to see that. Everyone except me at least. I was actually considering making Castle leave the precinct because Josh gave me an ultimatum. If that was any other guy, I would've promptly broke up with him and told him to make sure the door didn't hit his ass on the way out! Why was I even considering adhering to his ultimatum? It's pathetic and it makes me seem like some horrid teenager who is experiencing love for the first time and thinks that this guy is the one! Well, let me tell you something, Josh is _not_ the one!" Kate finished her rant with a deep breath.

Lanie couldn't help it, a huge smile broke out on her face as she replenished Kate's wine and sipped some of her own. "Honey, I am so glad you finally realized that! We all saw it, we were all worried, even Writer Boy, but we knew telling you would get us nowhere. In fact, the boys were too scared to tell you."

"Scared?" Kate asked, confused. Those boys weren't scared of anything, especially when it came to her. Sure, they listened, but they teased her like the older brothers she was sure they thought they were. If they were scared, they wouldn't tease her like that.

"Honey, you may be their 'younger sister,' but you are still their boss," Lanie pointed out. "Also, they didn't think Josh was good for you. Hell, we all still think you are missing something that's right in front of you!" Lanie wasn't going to say Castle when Kate's break up was so fresh, but she hoped Kate got the message. "They were also afraid if they said something bad about Josh, you would keep bringing him around the precinct. They also thought you might keep going out with him, just to prove them wrong, just to show he's a good guy."

Kate rolled her eyes at her boys. She loved them, but they could really be dense sometimes. "Why would I do that? I hate advertising relationships, especially where I work. Besides, Josh was too good for me anyway!"

At that, Lanie exploded. "Oh no, girl! You'd best be getting that idea out of your head right now! You were too good for him! He doesn't deserve someone like you! That's the truth and you'd better start believing it right now…or do I need to remind you how many people love you, with one certain person believing you are the most extraordinary person on the face of this earth. Or remind you of a girl who doesn't have a mother looking up to you because you are the closest thing to a mother she has ever had! Do I need to continue?" Lanie knew Kate would get the message; know Lanie was talking about the two Castle's.

"Lanie, he saves lives," Kate pointed out. "How can I compete with that? I can't! That automatically makes him a better person than me."

A single tear rolled down Kate's face and Lanie, again, wanted to kill Josh for putting her girl through this and might do it still, regardless of what Kate had asked.

"Honey, don't you see," Lanie said. "You save lives too!"

"What are you…" Kate began.

"Don't you remember what you were like when you first came to the precinct?" Lanie asked, cutting Kate off. "You were so driven and while that's an amazing thing, we could all tell you weren't exactly taking care of yourself. You always looked so sad, and your eyes had such a haunted look to them. You worked day and night to catch criminals and when you weren't working on an open case you worked day and night to look for your mother's killer. It was only after you literally collapsed one day from lack of sleep and food that you finally realized you were slowly killing yourself. Only after that did you agree to take care of yourself, to put your mother's case to rest and only work on it unless you had some good, solid leads, tell us everything that went on with you and your dad and agree to let other people help you.

"You keep other girls from being like that, you keep other dad's from being like yours, you make sure other parents are there for their kids and can share in the grief, not drown it in tequila at some strange bar, leaving their nineteen year old at home alone when they need their parent! You wear the ring for the life you lost, but you wear the watch…"

"For the life I saved," Kate whispered.

"For the life you saved," Lanie repeated, trying to reinforce what Kate now knew. "Josh did not deserve you. Say it!"

Kate sighed. She still didn't necessarily believe what Lanie was saying, but she was warming up to the idea, slowly. "Josh did not deserve me?"

Lanie shook her head. "Say it like you mean it, girl!"

"Josh did not deserve me." Kate said again, with a bit more conviction.

"Well, it'll get there," Lanie said, still not completely satisfied with her friend, but knowing she was making an effort was good enough right now.

Kate suddenly stood up from the couch with her wine glass and she grabbed Lanie's as well.

"Where are you going?" Lanie asked.

"To throw these out," Kate answered.

"Give me that!" Lanie cried, grabbing her wine glass from Kate. "You may have downed yours in two drinks, but I didn't. I'm not finished!"

As soon as Lanie had finished talking, a knock sounded on Kate's door. Kate and Lanie looked at each other. Seconds later, Lanie was going to the peephole to look and Kate was walking to the kitchen, to put her wineglass in the sink.

Kate came walking back toward the entry hall and toward a smiling Lanie. "You'll never guess."

"Open this door! I know you are in there! You called Lanie and there is no way you two went to a bar!" A voice shouted from outside Kate's apartment door as the knocking became louder and more insistent.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Castle."

Lanie didn't need to nod, as now the visitor was obvious, but she did so anyway.

Kate looked down at her clothes, noticing for the first time she was still in her work outfit. She hadn't much felt like doing anything when she got home except collapsing on the couch. Since that was true, she could only imagine what her face looked like. "I guess I should go freshen up? Change my clothes and such?"

Lanie smiled, hoping that meant she was going to at least try something with Castle. Lanie knew Castle wouldn't care what she looked like, but if Kate wanted to try, that was at least progress. "Don't take forever."

Kate nodded. "Let him in."

Before Kate could take two steps, Lanie had grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug. "We all love you, you know. Me, the boys, the captain, and that crazy writer outside your door right now…we all love you."

Kate pulled back from the comforting hug and smiled at her best friend. She always knew exactly what to say. "I know."

Lanie nodded her approval. "Good."

The knocking was still sounding accompanied more often than not by Castle's voice and Kate looked to the door, shaking her head. "I'm going to go change. Let him in before he breaks down my door!"

_I haven't started the next chapter yet and I have no idea what is going to happen just yet…and I'm back at school…so I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up…on either one of my stories. Anyway, could you please do me a favor and review…if you are still with me? Review! _


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: I do not own. You probably know that by now though_

_ A/N: Well, here's the second to last chapter…I think. Of course, once I get into this chapter, I might find it needs more or something. Anyway, I hope you like it. Enjoy! _

Castle was greeted by an amused Lanie after knocking on Kate's door for a few solid minutes.

"Castle, what are you doing here?" Lanie asked the writer.

"Well, something happened, right?" Castle asked. "Something devastating? I thought maybe I could be of some help."

"Did you ever think that maybe Kate just wanted some girl time and the last person she ever wanted to see was you?" Lanie asked. She knew that wasn't the case here, but she loved seeing Castle squirm. It was one of the many pleasures the writer gave her. He was way too easy.

The look on Castle's face made it obvious that he had not thought of the situation Lanie mentioned. "Is that why you answered the door? Is that why I don't see her? Should I just leave?"

"Lanie, what did you do to him?" Kate asked, appearing from the back of the apartment.

"Just watching him squirm," Lanie said with a mischievous gleam in her eye and a small smirk on her face.

"Did you want something, Castle?" Kate asked him, coming closer to the door. He finally got to see what she was wearing and it almost made his heart stop. She was wearing yoga pants and a white beater. Her face was devoid of any make-up and her hair was falling in loose waves over her shoulders. He thought she looked beautiful.

When Castle recovered his sense of movement, he flicked his eyes to Lanie and then back to Kate. "Umm, I kind of gathered that something happened and I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. That you were okay."

Kate bit the inside of her lip. Yes, she was going to let him in, but she wasn't sure what exactly she was going to divulge just yet, although she knew she would have to give him something. She might as well send Lanie back to Esposito. She didn't really need her anymore anyway. "Thanks, Lanie. I'm good. You can go back to Esposito."

"You don't stop referring to that, girl and Imma smack you!" Lanie threatened.

Kate gave a small smile and Castle was working hard to hold in a chuckle. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Lanie gave Kate one last assessing look and nodded her head decidedly. She walked out of the apartment, but before she closed the door she opened it again and looked directly at Castle. Her voice got low and treacherous. "You hurt my girl and I promise the boys and I will make sure you die a long, painful, torturous death, and no one will ever find your body."

Castle visibly gulped and Kate yelped, "Lanie!"

"Just making sure you know where we stand, Writer Boy," Lanie said, completely ignoring Kate's yelp of protest.

Castle, having recovered from hearing Lanie's threat looked the ME straight in the eye. "I never intend to hurt your girl. I know I have in the past and I regret each time that I have hurt her more than you will ever know. I came over tonight hoping that maybe I could help somehow. If she wants me to stay I will and if she wants me to leave, I will. All I want is for Kate to be happy."

Kate knew she should be annoyed that they were standing there talking about her like she wasn't there or couldn't hear them, but she wasn't. Each time Castle spouted off something sweet like that, he rendered her speechless. She knew she should hate that too, but she couldn't find it in her to hate it tonight. Josh had very rarely made her speechless like this, and if he ever did, she definitely hated it.

Lanie cocked her head for a few seconds and then nodded with certainty. "Good. Bye." With that, the door to Kate's apartment shut with a decisive click.

Castle turned around to see Kate's face directed at the floor. Knowing this woman as well as he did he was almost positive her cheeks were a distinct pink. He didn't take pleasure in making her blush tonight though. He wanted to know what had happened. He was sure it was something about Josh, because he was pretty sure Kate was doing something with him tonight. Not to mention that was the only thing that would make Lanie leave in such a rush, barring something with Kate's dad, and he knew if that were the case, Kate would be crushed and definitely not as okay as she looked right now. Besides, Lanie had said "the idiot" when Kate called and Castle knew Lanie would never refer to Kate's dad like that. He was sure the only one that would get or deserve that name in all seriousness was Josh.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" Castle asked, tilting her face up with a finger under her chin.

"Are you asking?" Kate wondered.

Castle shook his head. "It is totally up to you. If you want to tell me, that's fine. If you want me to stay I will. If you want me to leave, I will. Just…tell me what you need."

Kate bit her lip. "Can you…stay? I will tell you, I promise, but not right now?"

Castle smiled. "That is totally fine. Do you want to watch a movie? Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"I'm good," Kate assured him. She walked into the living room and sat on the couch with Castle following. She had picked up the remote and was flipping through channels when she saw an old episode of _Firefly_ on the sci-fi network. "Oh, we should watch this. Have you ever seen it?"

Castle shrugged. "Alexis loves it. I've never paid too much attention to it."

"It's something you would like, trust me," Kate told him.

They watched the show in silence for a few minutes. When Kate's eyes started to close, Castle tapped her on the shoulder and patted his lap in invitation. Kate thought about it for half a second, but decided she didn't care anymore. She didn't have a boyfriend and she had spent far too long denying herself of things that she needed (Castle was one of those things, even though she hadn't totally admitted it to herself yet) and wanted. She laid down on the couch with her head in his lap and when he started threading his fingers through her hair in a soothing rhythm, she couldn't help but close her eyes and float into oblivion.

-%

Kate's eyes fluttered and she realized she was in the living room with the TV flickering images. She tried to roll over, but she only got halfway around before she realized her head was in someone's lap. Staring up into blue eyes, she realized her head was in Castle's lap!

"Hey," Castle greeted her. "Have a nice nap?"

The events of the night suddenly came rushing back to her. She quickly searched her room for a clock. "It's midnight! You shouldn't be here! Alexis and your mother will be worried sick! I'm so sorry I kept you here for so long!"

Kate rushed to sit up, but Castle put his hands on her shoulder calmingly and pushed her body back down into a reclining position. "Kate. They know I might not be home tonight. There is nowhere else I'd rather be."

Kate sighed loudly. "I suppose you want to know what happened tonight."

Castle shrugged.

Kate raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

"Okay, I do want to know," Castle relented. "But, I want you to want to tell me. If you aren't ready yet, that's fine. I can wait. I want you to tell me when you want to and how you want to. If that means I have to wait a while, I can do that."

Kate shook her head. "You deserve to know, now. I want to tell you, I need to tell you, now."

Castle nodded his head.

Kate told him everything. She started with the ultimatum, went from her conversation with Lanie, to trying to visit Josh at the hospital and then going to his house. "I knocked on the door and he answered in a towel, so I assumed he just got out of the shower. I barely got a sentence out before a girl comes out of his bedroom, also dressed in a towel asking 'Honey, who is it?' He had been cheating on me with the hospital's filing girl for two months!"

"I'll kill him!" Castle growled. "Please let me kill him!"

Kate rolled her eyes. "You're not going to kill him."

"Just let me help Lanie and the boys?" Castle asked.

"They're not going to kill him either," Kate told him.

Castle's eyes widened. "Did you kill him?"

Kate couldn't help but let out a small laugh. "No. No one is going to kill him. We'll let him suffer." Kate paused for a minute. She finally muttered, "I was such an idiot."

Castle's brow furrowed. "You were not an idiot!"

"Yes, I was!" Kate argued. "I was changing myself so much for him! I was actually considering listening to him when he gave me that ultimatum. Why? I don't let anyone tell me what to do. Josh was two days away from controlling my life. I don't give anyone that power! Why did I almost let him do that!"

"You wanted it to work," Castle answered simply. "You thought if you just gave a little on this, or just changed your views on that, then he would stay with you and you could make it work. Before you know it, you have changed your whole life and compromised your views on everything."

Kate's eyebrows rose again. "What makes you so knowledgeable on this?"

Castle smiled. "You forget, I've been married twice. If it hadn't been for Alexis, I could still be with Gina, maybe even Meredith, but I wouldn't be the dazzling man sitting here before you."

Kate couldn't help but fall back into her old habit of rolling her eyes. "Oh, please."

Castle smiled wider, having accomplished his objective of putting a little bit of herself back into the woman lying on his lap.

Kate bit her lip. "Tell me about it."

Castle shook his head. "You don't want to hear…"

"But I do!" Kate cut in. "Make me forget about tonight. Make me see I'm not as big of an idiot as I think I am."

"You realize you are comparing yourself to me," Castle reminded her.

Kate had to let a small smile break through. Castle really was doing wonders for her tonight. She shoved that thought to the back of her mind. "I know, it's horrible. Please…tell me."

Castle searched her eyes and realized she was serious. Seeing that look, he didn't give it a second thought. He launched into a story of Meredith and Gina, and how before Alexis made him realize how much he was changing, he didn't realize it himself, and he would've still been with Gina if his wonderful daughter hadn't opened his eyes.

Kate shook her head when he was finished. "I still wish I didn't let him get to me like that."

Castle shook his head. "You were going to break up with him. Even before you found out he was cheating, you had plans to break up with him. You could tell he was controlling your life and that's what made you decide what you did."

"Not exactly," Kate divulged, then suddenly wondered where her brain was. She wasn't supposed to be telling anyone what she was getting ready to say, especially not Castle!

Castle's eyes snapped to hers. "What?"

Kate sighed and looked down. "Well, you see, when he gave me the ultimatum. He told me to get rid of him or get rid of you. The thought of not having Josh in my life didn't panic me half as much as the thought of not having you in my life."

Castle gasped in utter disbelief. "W-what?"

Kate shook her head. "When the captain and the mayor first stuck me with you, I was sure it was the universe's mission to play some huge cosmic joke on me. No, it wasn't enough that my mother got killed and my father was a recovering alcoholic. I had to be stuck with a nine-year-old on a sugar rush ride-along. He was even basing a book off of me. Pushing my very private life into the limelight and giving me a slutty hooker name! I knew I was going to be so glad when the book was finished.

"But then, the book was finished and I found myself wishing it wasn't. I mean, sure, I hated you after you looked into my mom's case, but you only did it for me. You had looked into it before I told you not to, so technically, I couldn't fault you. When the first book was finished, I held out hope that you might stay with us. I didn't necessarily want you to do another book, but you had seemed to be having so much fun, I thought maybe you would stay. You got the deal for the British spy though, and I knew that was it. I was mad, I was mad that you thought I wanted you to leave; I was mad because I didn't want you to leave," Kate explained.

"I don't want to want you," Kate admitted. "If only it was that easy. If I just wanted you, I could ignore it, I could make myself believe I didn't. It's not that easy though. I mean, look at what you have done for me tonight. You have gotten me to smile, laugh, you even made me roll my eyes at you. You made me almost forget about Josh and his cheating. I don't want to want you with me in my job, but it's more than that. I need you. Not in my job, I did that perfectly fine before you…but my life…I need you in my life."

Castle's eyes were wide, but a huge smile bloomed on his face. "I don't think you know how happy I am to hear you say that!"

Kate had to smile too. He looked so pleased. "It's definitely going to take some time for me to let you help me. After all, I've never needed anyone before."

Castle nodded. "You just broke up with Josh. There is no way you would be ready right now anyway. If you were, I would be concerned about rebounding." Castle's eyes suddenly clouded over.

"Castle," Kate said, bringing his attention back to her. "You are not a rebound. Trust me. After you left for the Hamptons with Gina, I was disappointed and hurt. Josh made me feel better, and he didn't know you just left me to go to the Hamptons with another woman. Josh was the rebound."

Castle nodded, satisfied with her answer. When she let out a huge yawn, he smiled. "Someone is tired."

Kate rolled her eyes. "I'm not four years old, like other people in this room. I know when I'm tired and I'm not incapable of mentioning it."

Since she was already lying in Castle's lap, it was very easy for him to swoop her up in his arms without her being aware of the proceedings, until she was in his arms. Kate screeched, "I am also very capable of walking by myself!"

"Yes, you are," Castle agreed. "But you don't have your gun and it's just so much more fun this way."

Kate rolled her eyes again, but didn't complain anymore about it. After all, being in Castle's arms made her feel warm and safe…not that she would _ever_ tell _anyone_ that!

Castle tenderly laid her down on her bed, after he had turned down the covers with one arm. He covered her up gently and when he made to walk out of the room, one of her arms shot out from under the covers. "Stay," Kate requested. "That is…if you don't need to get home."

Castle stripped down to his undershirt and boxers in record time and was under the covers gently holding her again before she even realized he was agreeing. "There is nowhere else I would rather be."

_That's the end of this chapter. All mistakes and typos are mine, I hope there aren't too many. I think there's going to be a little epilogue. Depending on if I can get it written, I think I am going to focus on other fics…maybe a Lanie/Esposito one. I am just too angry about the season finale! I guess the good news in all the horrible-ness is that it prompted me to finish this (Kate and Castle needed some good fluff after...)! Anyway, leave me a review, you can tell me about this and/or just rant about the season finale! I will be happy to respond to either or both! Thanks for reading and please review! _


	7. Epilogue

_Disclaimer: I am just borrowing, keeping them safe and healthy, since the writers aren't doing so._

_ A/N: And here's the epilogue. It was supposed to be a short little thing, but it didn't turn out that way. I think I'm incapable of writing a fic where I don't include Alexis, so she needed a part, and after her…well, there were so many other topics this needed to cover. I hope you don't think Alexis is too OOC, I think she would be a HUGE advocate for the Castle/Beckett relationship, which is why she does some of the things she does. Other characters may be OOC too…if they are, I'm truly sorry (I did put this as AU though). All typos and mistakes are mine. I hope you enjoyed the story overall and here's one more chapter that I hope you'll enjoy! _

One Year Later

Kate walked into the loft with a sigh. She had to stay late at the precinct and finish up some paperwork. It wasn't too late, but she had sent Castle home so he could eat dinner with his daughter. She always sent Castle home to eat with Alexis, but usually she was with him (she liked to leave when he did nowadays), and she had forgotten how much she missed having him sitting beside her…even if it was just to stare at her while she was doing paperwork. She headed toward the living room and saw Alexis sitting on the couch watching an old movie.

"Hey, Alexis," Kate said.

"Oh, hey Kate," Alexis said back. "Dad left some dinner for you in the refrigerator."

"Where is your dad?" Kate asked, walking into the kitchen to get the dinner and warm it up.

"Oh, he's writing," Alexis told Kate, waving her hand in a dismissing motion. She paused her movie, turned the TV off and followed Kate into the kitchen.

While Kate was eating dinner, she and Alexis talked about inconsequential things. They talked about Alexis' day at school, her break up with Ashley, her new college choices and Kate's day at work.

As Kate was walking over to the sink to wash off her plate and put it in the dishwasher, Alexis brought up a new subject. "Can I ask you a couple of questions?"

"Sure," Kate agreed, having set her plate in the dishwasher.

"When are you going to marry Dad?" Alexis asked.

At that moment, Kate was glad the plate was safely in the dishwasher, because if it wasn't, she was sure it would be shattered on the floor. She may not have been expecting the question, but she could answer it. "Well, Alexis that would require him asking me."

Alexis considered that for half a second, before recognizing that was true. "Okay, well if he asked you, what would you say?"

"Well, what kind of timeline are we talking here?" Kate wondered. "In a day, in a week, in a month, in a year?"

"You really are a detective," Alexis grumbled. "You have to analyze everything to death. Tonight. If Dad asked you tonight, what would you say?"

Kate suddenly became suspicious and a few butterflies made themselves known in her stomach. "Is Castle going to ask me tonight?"

Alexis shook her head. "I highly doubt it. What would you say?"

"Yes," Kate answered almost immediately.

Alexis' eyebrows raised in astonishment. "That was very fast."

"It was," Kate agreed, her fast reply having even surprised herself. "But my answer doesn't change. I would say yes."

Alexis smiled. "That's great!"

"Now I have a question for you," Kate told the girl. "Did your dad put you up to this?"

Alexis shook her head. "No."

"Then why the interrogation?" Kate wondered.

"I was just curious," Alexis said. "And not only that, but Grams said a few weeks ago Dad was asking her about rings. A few days later, Grams was snooping in his desk because she wanted to know if he was asking because he wanted to buy a ring for you, and she found an engagement ring."

Kate felt more butterflies join the first few. "But you don't think he's going to ask me tonight…or soon?"

Alexis cocked her head. "As I said, it's doubtful."

"Why?" Kate asked, confused and a bit disappointed (not that she would ever let Alexis know that).

"Well, when Dad's divorce from Mom was final, he told me I was probably going to see his picture in the paper with many different women. He told me not to pay attention to that. He said he would bring the girl home to meet me if it was serious, and if I hadn't met the girl then I shouldn't pay attention to anything the paper said." Alexis explained. "When I met Gina, I remembered what he said and I knew he was serious with her. Still though, he promised me no one was coming into this family unless we both loved her very much and she loved us very much.

"About a month before he proposed to her, he took me into his study and asked me three questions. 'Alexis, how do you feel about Gina,' 'Alexis, what would you say if I told you I was going to propose to Gina,' and 'Alexis, would it be alright with you if I were to marry Gina.'" Alexis continued. "Now, I know I'm quite a lot older now, but I think he would still ask my opinion.

"I could always read Gina very well, but you're a bit harder to read. I knew Gina would jump at the chance to marry Dad, but I didn't know how you would feel about it. I needed to know so I could know how to answer Dad's second question. I needed to know if I should say 'no,' 'wait a while,' or 'yes.'" Alexis finished.

"You're supposed to use those questions for you, Alexis!" Kate exclaimed. "You don't need to know what I would say to answer those three questions."

"Yes, I do," Alexis argued. "If I didn't like the girl, we would never get to the second question."

"But…" Kate tried to begin.

"No!" Alexis cried, cutting her off. "Dad is _not_ going to screw this relationship up! If you weren't ready, I wouldn't let him ask you. My answer doesn't change, regardless of what you said."

"What would you say, Alexis?" Kate asked, truly curious. If Castle's daughter wasn't certain about this, then there was no way she could continue. Of course, she and Castle had been together about nine months and Alexis had said nothing, but Kate had to make sure.

"I would tell him to propose," Alexis replied. "Dad loves you, Grams loves you…and so do I. I love you, Kate."

Kate smiled. "I love you too, Alexis."

A smile arose on Alexis' face and she went over to hug Kate. Kate hugged her back and that was the scene Castle walked into a few seconds later. "Am I interrupting something?"

Alexis and Kate pulled back, looked at each other and answered in unison, "No."

Castle wasn't so sure they were being truthful, but he decided to let it go for now. "Alexis, have you finished all your homework?"

Alexis could tell he was truly curious, not trying to get rid of her so she answered, "Yep."

"Well, I just finished two chapters!" Castle cried in excitement. "That means I won't get hounded by Gina for two whole months, so I say we watch a movie to celebrate!"

Alexis and Kate agreed and they spent the rest of the night watching _Avatar_.

-%

The days stretched into weeks until it had been almost a month since Kate and Alexis had their conversation. Alexis decided if nothing happened in a week, she was going to take things into her own hands. That night though, when Castle said Kate had sent him home because she was going to have to stay at the precinct late, Alexis didn't see the point in waiting any longer.

"Dad, can we talk?" Alexis asked her father.

"Sure," Castle agreed. "What would you like to talk about?"

"When are you going to ask Kate to marry you?" Alexis asked, diving right in.

Castle dropped the glass he was holding.

"Dad!" Alexis cried. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Castle assured her. He made no move to sweep up the glass but stared at Alexis. "What did you say? Before I dropped the glass?"

"I said, when are you going to ask Kate to marry you?" Alexis repeated, getting up to grab the dust pan and broom since her dad was obviously not going to do so.

"Alexis, that's a very complicated subject," Castle hedged.

"It is not!" Alexis countered. "You ask her and she says yes."

"It's not quite that simple," Castle disagreed.

Alexis rolled her eyes. "Dad, come on! She broke up with Josh one year ago, you both started dating nine months ago, the press found out six months ago and she moved in three months ago. The next logical step is engagement. I mean, I guess Kate could get pregnant…"

"The next logical step is engagement," Castle said, before Alexis could get too far into her speculation.

Alexis nodded. "That's what I thought. So, when are you going to do it?"

"Alexis…" Castle stalled.

"Dad!" Alexis exclaimed. She was going to get the point across if it killed her. She knew there were many ways she could play this. She could spin a story that would make her father proud, she could dramatize it the way her grandmother would or she could use one of Kate's tactics and be blunt. She decided none of those would work well for her. She was going to make it simple; short and sweet. "You love her and I know she loves you, so what's the problem?"

Alexis, looking at her father, could tell he was actually thinking about her question. As time stretched on though, she was wondering if he was just going to ignore her. It had been about five minutes and as she was getting ready to say something else, she stopped herself, because she could tell her dad was actually going to respond.

A huge smile bloomed on Alexis' face when her dad turned to her and asked, "Alexis, what do you think of Kate?"

-%

The plan was to fix a fancy dinner the next night and all three of them would eat together. Then Alexis would go upstairs while Castle and Kate would take glasses of wine to the living room. Castle would ask Kate and all would be well.

Of course, these plans were what people would call "best laid plans," and the old saying struck just in time. At 5:00 in the morning, Kate got called. A body was found and she was in full detective mode.

A week later, Castle entered the loft by himself. It was becoming a trend. Kate would stay until at least 10:00 at the precinct every night going over leads and records, but she always made sure Castle went home to eat with Alexis.

Alexis' head snapped to the door when she heard it open and when Castle came in and she sighed, seeing he was by himself. "You still haven't solved the case?"

"Actually, Kate and Esposito had to take a ride to the jail to write up booking for the guy," Castle told his daughter. "They got the confession so they have to do it."

Alexis wrinkled her forehead. "And you weren't with her because…"

Castle frowned. "Gina called at _the exact moment_ Kate was going into interrogation to hound me about a chapter I already finished, so Kate called Esposito to go with her. She refused to wait five minutes while Gina yelled at me."

Alexis stifled a laugh, knowing her father wouldn't appreciate her amusement. "That's what happens when you finish two chapters but don't tell your publisher you finished them both."

"If I did that, then she would want both of them and expect me to finish another one before the end of next month," Castle said. "I wouldn't even get a break."

Alexis rolled her eyes at her father's procrastination. "Okay, well, moving away from that subject. You solved the case, so tonight you are going to ask Kate to marry you, right?"

"I don't know…" Castle delayed.

"No, Dad!" Alexis cried. She had already made many preparations and she was not about to let them go to waste. "You have waited a whole week because Kate has been caught up in this case and the one night that she is going to be relaxed, you have to ask her! Besides, she's going to go into the precinct tomorrow, and you know she'll get another case, and what if this one takes a week?"

Castle squinted at his daughter. "Add a little more doom and that could be considered a slippery slope, a literary fallacy."

Alexis pressed her fingers to her temples, forcing herself to keep her cool. She wanted her dad to ask Kate so badly, she wanted to scream. She had promised her grandmother she would get her dad to ask tonight, she had made a special dinner, everything. She tried a different tactic.

"Dad, do you remember why I broke up with Ashley?" Alexis asked.

Castle was confused at this abrupt change of subject, but jumped at the chance to get the spotlight off him. "You said it was because you weren't going anywhere."

"Exactly!" Alexis affirmed. "Our relationship had been the same for at least a year. We had made no changes, we hadn't moved forward at all. When I asked him if he thought that was a problem, he just shrugged his shoulders. Our relationship was at a standstill and he didn't care. So I broke it off.

"Now I realize your case is a little different, but if Kate thinks your relationship is not moving forward, I can almost guarantee she won't say anything about it. She moved in almost four months ago and neither of you are getting any younger. You wait much longer and your relationship could be considered to be at a standstill," Alexis finished, hoping that worked. "And don't tell me that's a slippery slope too!"

Castle pondered that for a moment. "What should I say?"

Alexis, again, had to hold in a laugh, but also a cry of victory, she wasn't finished yet. "Well, Dad, I think it is acceptable to say, 'Kate, will you marry me?'"

Castle rolled his eyes at his daughter's sarcasm. "No, I mean before, during and after."

Alexis sighed. "Maybe I should just propose for you. You probably shouldn't say anything after because you need to let her say yes. Then, you have to kiss her. Usually, questions work better if they are in a coherent sentence, so say nothing _during_ the question, except her name and those four words right after. As for before, you're a writer, think of something!"

"But…" Castle tried.

"You have an hour before dinner is ready," Alexis interrupted him, refusing to hear anything else. "You probably have around fifty minutes before Kate gets home, and thirty minutes before Grams gets here."

"Mother?" Castle asked.

"Oh, didn't I mention that?" Alexis questioned innocently. "Grams is coming for dinner. Don't worry though, she'll stay out of your way, I'll make sure of it." As she skipped to the stairs and pulled out her phone, she heard the sounds of Castle grumbling. She allowed herself a little chuckle as she dialed.

"Okay, I did everything you told me," Alexis reported. "I gave him all kinds of worst case scenarios that will probably never happen, he even called me on a slippery slope, and he agreed to do it tonight."

"Well done, little one, well done," Martha praised her granddaughter. "And I told you to be careful. I told you he might call you on one of those."

"Yeah, well, if I didn't have a grandmother who was going out of the country for

three months to do a play but insisted on being here when her son proposed, I wouldn't have had to do this!" Alexis reminded her.

Martha rolled her eyes, choosing to ignore Alexis' dig, knowing how stressed she was. "I'll be there in about thirty-five minutes."

-%

"Grams, do you want to come upstairs and look at my story for school?" Alexis asked, having already planned this out with her grandmother.

"What?" Kate asked, taking the dishes to the sink.

"I had to write a fiction story for school," Alexis explained. "I already had Dad look it over, for grammar and spelling mistakes. I based it off of one of the plays Grams had been in recently though, and I want her to make sure it isn't too close to the play."

"I was hoping we could all watch a movie tonight," Castle said. "Especially with Mother leaving the country tomorrow."

Alexis narrowed her eyes at her father. "Dad, one of the main reasons Grams came over tonight was to help me with this. We'll come down when we're finished if you insist, but we're doing this first."

"You can bring the story down here," Castle suggested, putting foil over the leftover lasagna and putting in the refrigerator.

"Good grief, Richard," Martha sighed. "You're not going to miss me that much! Let's go, Alexis."

Kate smiled at Castle as Martha and Alexis went upstairs. They were mumbling the whole way and she had a feeling it had something to do with Castle and his ridiculousness. "Want to help me do the dishes?"

"Let's not do the dishes just yet," Castle suggested, reaching into the refrigerator for a bottle of wine.

"Um, okay," Kate agreed. "What do you want to do then?"

Castle handed her a full glass. "Let's just go into the living room and talk."

Kate was confused. "Talk about what?"

Castle shrugged and walked to the living room. Kate wrinkled her forehead but followed.

When she came in, Castle had set his glass down on the coffee table and was wiping his hands on his pants. "Are you okay?" Kate asked him. "You seem a little off."

"I'm fine," Castle assured her, although nothing could be further from the truth. He had no idea what to say to her. He had thought about it all through dinner and ever since Alexis had told him to "think of something." The trouble was nothing he could come up with seemed to come close to what he felt for Kate.

"Kate, sit down," Castle requested.

Kate swallowed and felt butterflies in her stomach. She had no idea what he was going to do, but asking her to sit down was never good. She was getting nervous. "Castle, should I be worried?"

"No!" Castle exclaimed. "Not at all."

Kate sighed, not completely reassured, but she knew Castle well enough to know when he was lying and now was not one of those times. "You want to tell me what this is all about?"

"Kate, I love you," Castle told her.

Kate smiled. "I love you, too."

Castle shook his head slightly and decided to just dive in. "Kate, I'm a writer. I make my living off of words. When I can't think of a different variation of a word I use my thesaurus and there are a plethora of words for me to choose from. Tonight, though, I can't think of any words to describe you. Extraordinary is the only one that comes to mind, but even that doesn't come close. I know that my trusty thesaurus would have lots of words that mean the same thing as extraordinary, but none of them would come close to what you are to me.

"You amaze me every day with your dedication to the job and your dedication to the victims," Castle continued. "You amaze me because you are still able to bring closure to those other families even though you don't have it yourself. You are the most deserving of that closure and even though you don't have it yet, I know we are getting closer. I know someday you will get that closure and I want to be by your side when you do."

Kate knew where this was going now and she took a deep, steadying breath. She hadn't been lying when she told Alexis she would say yes, but that didn't mean she was any less nervous.

Castle took a moment to tuck a strand of hair behind Kate's ear and brush a tear off her cheek. "I want to make you laugh and I want to hold you when you cry. I want you to know that you can rely on me for anything and everything and I want you to feel safe with me.

"When I first met you, I had no idea you would come to mean this much to me. Now, I can't even begin to imagine my life without you. You are extraordinary, spectacular and so much more. I love you so much," Castle concluded. He got down on one knee in front of the sofa where she was sitting. He pulled the ring box out of his pocket and popped it open. "Kate Beckett, will you marry me?"

Kate blinked a few times as she stared at the ring. It was beautiful; it was perfect. It wasn't too big, not something she would expect out of Castle, but something she already loved.

Castle's voice broke her out of her thoughts. "Please say something."

Kate's face broke out in a smile. "Yes."

"Yes?" Castle questioned, wondering if he had heard her correctly.

"Yes," Kate repeated.

Castle smiled and quickly pulled the ring out of the box. He dropped the box on the floor, not at all concerned about where it landed. He slowly slipped the ring on Kate's finger and then he stood up from his kneeling position. He offered her his hands, and she placed her hands in his. He gently pulled her up from the sofa and brushed the tears off her cheeks.

"I love you so much," Castle whispered. He knew he had now said this three times, but he couldn't help it.

Kate's smile got wider. "I love you, too."

Castle quickly pulled Kate to him and fused their lips together. He couldn't believe he was lucky enough to have this amazing woman agree to marry him. He was such a lucky man.

Kate couldn't believe Castle thought she was extraordinary enough for him to love. She knew there was nothing special about her (at least, she didn't think there was), but for some unfathomable reason he had picked her. He wanted to marry her. He had finally proposed and she said yes! She was so lucky.

Castle and Kate saw a flash and heard two very distinct throat clearings. They pulled away from each other and smiled when they saw Martha and Alexis standing in front of them. Castle shook his head, noticing the camera in Alexis' hands.

"Alexis, what are you doing with that camera?" Castle asked.

"Taking pictures," Alexis answered in a 'duh' voice "Of the proposal. I have everything from beginning to end. I have Dad starting it, I have Dad getting down on one knee...Well, you get the idea."

"Why?" Kate inquired.

"Because I knew this would be good," Alexis responded. "Besides, someday, you're going to want these pictures."

Castle raised his eyebrows. "Mother, you were in on this?"

"Of course, dear," Martha answered. "Why do you think Alexis was bugging you to propose tonight. I was not going to miss my son proposing to the only girl that ever really mattered to him."

Kate blushed and Castle groaned. "Gee, thanks Mother."

Alexis stifled a giggle and suddenly Castle thought of something. "Wait, Alexis, you said you were taking pictures of the whole thing? How come we didn't notice the camera flashing until the very end?"

"I had the flash off for every other picture," Alexis told him. "I just turned it on for the last one so it could have the desired effect of breaking you apart. The throat clearing was just a safety measure, in case the flash didn't work."

"You wanted to break us apart?" Castle asked.

Alexis shrugged. "You guys had been kissing for like five minutes. I love you guys together as much as the next person, but there's only so much I can take of my dad kissing. Besides, you guys were getting much too into that kiss and well…I really like that couch. I didn't want to never be able to sit on it again."

"Mother!" Castle exclaimed. "Don't teach my daughter those things."

Alexis and Martha laughed. "Dad, that's not Grams. That's high school. Oh, and let's not forget you, page 105, and other things that I've read in your books!"

"Castle!" Kate scolded him, in a teasing manner. "How dare you teach those things to your daughter! And to send her to such a high school. I'm appalled."

Alexis laughed. "I knew I was going to like having you around."

"Are you going to start calling me Rick now?" Castle asked.

Kate shook her head in denial.

"Why?" Caste questioned.

"Rick is playboy image that the public sees day in and day out. Rick is how Paula and Gina portray you. Rick is the womanizer." Kate told him. "I can't call you Richard either, because that's what Martha calls you. But Castle…that's who you were to me from day one. Castle is the man who has my back no matter what. Castle is the man I fell in love with."

Castle smiled and pulled Kate in for another deep kiss. Alexis and Martha looked at each other, rolled their eyes and Alexis snapped another picture. This time though, Kate and Castle were too lost in each other to care.

_Well, that's it. I really don't think the epilogue needed to be this long, but I really do like every part of it. I considered not posting it all, but then I changed my mind. This is the end after all. If enough people hate it though, I will change it and take away the beginning part. I'll just start with Alexis and Martha going upstairs. If you didn't hate it, leave me a review. If you did, let me know and I'll take away the beginning. It's the last chapter…give the button some love and leave me a review! Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed every other chapter and thanks for reading! _


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